Things to Discuss Before You Dawn That Ring

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 Serious issues which you and your future spouse should discuss in order to ensure a long and healthy marriage.

So your relationship has reached the stage where you are more than just dating. A heartfelt proposal has been given with a luxurious ring to match. Everything seems as though you have reached your fairy tale ending. However, is there danger in the midst?

It has been statistically proven that most marriages that end within the first year are caused by a lack of communication to important topics prior to the exchanging of vows. By addressing these critical topics in your relationship you will ensure the compatibility or lack thereof between you and your partner. Below you will find some of the most commonly overlooked, but critical questions which need to be addressed prior to putting on the ring.

  1. Do you or do you not want children?

Nothing will tear a relationship apart quicker than a man or a woman who wants to have children with a partner who does not. Be sure that when discussing such a topic that both the pros and the cons are weighed in an adult manner. Where it is true that the woman will be responsible for carrying the child, such should never be used as the deciding factor, “It’s my body and it’s my choice.” Whether or not to have children should be a mutual choice agreed upon by both person’s in a relationship.

  1. Money

How will money be handled. When entering into the bonds of marriage the topic of money is unavoidable. Discussion needs to be made as to how finances are to be handled. Generally speaking, when a man and a woman have separate accounts the money is viewed as my money and their money. The same holds true with prenuptial agreements. (If you need a prenuptial how strong is the relationship to begin with?).

Delegation of funds should not be dependent on one person in the relationship, even if one person only contributes to the weekly entertainment or dinner date such is needed to maintain a balance in the relationship.

  1. Sexual expectations

Though you may fantasize about doing all kinds of things to your partner’s naked body, some of these acts are just not in the cards. In a tactful and tasteful manner you and your partner need to discuss the sexual limitations in the relationship.

Both men and women should understand that your sexual desires will evolve as your relationship progresses. However, having a base bedroom etiquette of bedroom can and can not’s will ensure that your spouse is not intimidated or irritated, but intimate in the bedroom.

  1. Address obnoxious behavior

At the beginning of a relationship you will find that there are many “petty” annoyances that are overlooked. These annoyances tend to grow once a marriage union is established. Such things as leaving a towel on the floor, feminine products on the counter top, hair in the sink, or the biting of nails quickly grow to intolerable attributes.

In a relationship it is essential to address any festering problems in order for the relationship to grow. The best way to address this is not to accuse but to confront. For example, you could say; “I know I leave my dirty shirts on the bed and this annoys you just like you leaving your wet towel on the bathroom floor annoys me. I am going to make an effort to keep my dirty shirts off the bed. Could you please try to pick your towel up after you shower?” Many times, small, petty annoyances would be remedied out of love and affection for the other person if a mountain had not been made out of a mole hill. By stating not only the petty annoyance but also a personal flaw of your own, your future spouse will not feel attacked and such issues can be addressed prior to being married.  On the other hand, you know what your best and worst attributes are. Working to improve upon those areas in which you are lacking will ensure a lasting relationship.

  1. I love your mom… but from a distance

When starting to make a nest of your own, one sure way to damper the relationship is to have excessive parental input from either side. True, we love and respect our parents and would do anything for them. However, many relationships suffer because either the son/daughter cannot be the husband/wife they need to be due to the parent’s involvement.

Parental involvement can also cause marital problems and what is known as “the in-law conflict.” Ensure that you are not battling for your spouse’s affections with his or her parents by discussing issues that would revolve around them such as holiday celebrations, Sunday dinners, ect.

If your relationship has reached the engagement stage, it is obvious that both persons are serious in their affections. Where these are just a few of the many questions that need to be posed, asking such questions may prevent heartache and conflict later on. Remember that marriage and any relationship is based off of love and compromise. Meet your future spouse half way and I am sure they will carry you the rest.